Preparing for a massage

You may have loads of questions! (and thanks to Massage Sloth for answering these questions already!)

Do I need to shower? Is my body weird? Will it be gross for them to massage me? Will I be made to get all-the-way naked, and will they see my butt? Good heavens, what if they touch my butt?!

Scary stuff. Some of these thoughts may have occurred to you, or you might have other worries. If you’ve done your research and have some experience of massage therapists, you needn’t worry too much. That said…

A Little Preparation Is Warranted

If you stink, wash up. A washcloth run over your armpits and feet can cover a multitude of sins. If you don’t stink, don’t worry.

If you have a wound or a wart on the bottom of your foot, make sure it’s covered in a sanitary way. No big deal.

If you have a skin disorder that is non-communicable (most cases of acne, psoriasis, and eczema are just fine), just make sure to note it on the intake form, and don’t worry about it. We’ve seen it a thousand times before. If you’ve got something communicable, or if you have any sort of open sores, wait until a doctor clears you.

Don’t come in high or drunk.

That about covers it.

“That’s It? What About My Hairy Le…”

Let me stop you there. I don’t care about your leg hair. I don’t care about your rough heels, or your “weird toes,” or your need for a manicure. And for heaven’s sake, I don’t care about your “back fat,” or your cellulite, or how you’ve gained sooo much weight and you’re so embarrassed.

Actually, let me take that back: I do care that you’re embarrassed. I hate it for you. I want you to feel comfortable in your body, as it’s the only one you’ve got. If you’re seeing a bodyworker (that’s what some of us call ourselves) who’s been in business for a while, you’re probably seeing someone who just plain loves human bodies. Tall or short, big or small, broken or whole, we love your body. That came out weird, but it’s true. We’re in this because of the amazing variety of human forms, because the body never ceases to be fascinating. Basically, what I’m saying is this: When you come to a massage therapist, bring your body.

“So… Are They Going to See My Butt?”

Hopefully you’re worrying less about the physical preparation (“don’t stink”), but maybe you’ve still got some mental preparation to do. Allow me to put your mind at ease:

Any reputable massage therapist will be concerned for your modesty. They will be fine if you leave your underwear on, and you can even tell them that you’d like to keep everything on. That said, should you choose to go starkers, no massage therapist worth their salt will ever see anything interesting. While we may want to work on your butt cheek (lots of important muscles live right around your hip bone), your butt crack will remain covered and out of sight. In fact, not only do I not want to see your bits, I don’t want you to wonder whether you’re exposed. If things are feeling too drafty, let me know.

During the Massage

I will likely start with you face-down on the table, with your face in that crazy cushion that looks like a toilet seat. Consider removing your necklace and any dangly earrings, and putting them somewhere secure. Only undress as much as you’re comfortable with, and lay down under the top sheet. I will leave you to get undressed and under the top sheet. I will knock after a few minutes. If you aren’t ready, please say so in a clear voice.

If the face cradle is uncomfortable, or if the room temperature isn’t right, or the music’s too loud, please say so. These things are easy to fix.

I will likely ask you to turn over halfway through the massage. Pretend you’re flipping over in bed and you’ll do fine. You’ll probably be asked to scoot down toward your feet so that the massage therapist can take the face cradle away. I will hold up a sheet over you so I can’t see if you have any unfortunate clothing issues.

That, dear reader, is all you need to know for your massage. You don’t need to help move your limbs or your head unless I ask. We’re strong, and we’re good at moving limbs around. You don’t need to make small talk, or apologize for anything. Take this opportunity to listen to your body, and the communication that’s occurring silently.

You also don’t need to stay quiet. If you feel like talking, there’s no reason to hold back. In fact, if something doesn’t feel quite right, I value your feedback. If something hurts, or if you could use more pressure, I encourage you to speak up. When it comes to your body, you’re the expert in the room.

After the Massage

After the massage is over, I will leave the room so that you can get dressed. Take your time, and sit on the edge of the table for a minute if you feel light-headed. You don’t need to “make the bed” or anything, those linens will be changed after you leave.

Once you are ready, I will ask you how you’re doing and whether any pain feels better. There are no right answers to these questions.

To Sum Up…

Worry less and enjoy your massage. There’s very little that you need to do; let this be one hour out of the month where you realize that the less you do, the less effort you put forth, the fewer expectations and preconceptions that you layer on top of the experience in your mind, the more you will accomplish.